Gloves.

"Gloves.Once,I had gloves.Not many.But all of them just doesn't feel right.Some were tight.While others were loose.But they kept me warm through the cold night,so my hands still reach for them no matter what.But one day,somehow,I lost a few pairs.My hands were left to be ravaged by the cold unforgiving winter chill.I searched for a fire but that only burned me when i got close.I was almost frostbitten but then,as if by magic,I found a few pairs that fit,well,not perfectly,but much better than the old ones.Much better.I learned to always know that i may not have these gloves forever and learn to have resistance against the cold.So tell me,what would you if someone gave you a pair of your old glove in place for your much better new ones?
Would you take them?"

Check.

"Went through a suicidal phase for quite some time.
Went through a clean freak phase once upon a time.
Went through more than one depressing moment in life.
Lost so many hopes and dreams throughout life.
Been saved a little more than once.
Managed to have new and reform old hopes and dreams.
Manage to restore what was lost and learn to believe."


Do you smile? Well..? I may not have so much to smile about but at least i am smiling. I have this unusual feeling nowadays,never before i felt.On some occasions when i smile,i can feel it stretching,you know,my grin becoming bigger on conscious.The sensation of being happy just by,well,being happy.It's an extraordinary sensation,when your average smile stretches beyond its usual limit.It's just plain ecstasy.

Well,i'm going to Indonesia for a few days,just exploring other lands.I've never been outside of this country so wish me luck.Shit,i haven't even packed yet and i'm going like in 13 hours.So,better start filling my Louis Vuitton.

Just kidding.I'll bring back a maid for each of you,okay?

Nectar and ambrosia.

Your favorite blogger is back from the dead,well,more or less.

I'm sorry for the lack of posts nowadays,its just I'm not easily inspired these days.I've been moping around the house not doing much.

I've been reading Percy J and The Lightning Thief like crazy.I read it like three times! Okay now that's obsessive.I've been praying to get out of this house to buy the next one but unfortunately no luck.Maybe bad reception or something.

Anyway,I haven't even started on my homework and the holidays are nearly over.Basically,I don't even know what my homework is.

The only interesting thing that happened to me this week is the dream i had about moving to Korea.Why Korea? Don't ask me,i don't even know.

Okay,I'm going back to Camp Half-Blood and Berk now,while the holidays are still here,sorry about the half-hearted post,I'm just well,not inspired that much,blog you later.

Love,
Hiccup.

Rerun.

"History has a habit of repeating itself"

*sigh*

Let's start from last Tuesday.Went to Immigrations Department.Never thought anybody could died of boredom.Well,nobody did but why take the chance.The only interesting thing that happened there was this one time,we where waiting for our number to come,in the almost still silence,the person at the counter announced..."Siti Nurhaliza,Kaunter 10" and everybody started to chuckle.It was pretty funny when the person was not exactly the singer herself.I couldn't imagine the feelings of the poor girl who had to answer that call with her father.Oh,how humiliating.Later,had breakfast while waiting for my passport which was ready pretty fast.

Then,went to SJMC,which is now SDMC due to the fact of Sime Darby taking over.Oh,what memories i had there.For those who don't know,well...i don't divulge on my past that often to people so basically everyone,i practically stayed there once upon a time.Had this disease which...well let's not talk about that,let's just say I'm better now.Waited like a very restless teenager who was fugly tired caused by waking up so early in the morning,in which sleeping late does not help,and making it sinful cause its the holidays,oh.. for my mother's checkup.Well,its for my mother so it was okay.At least i got a Mars bar later,that made my day.

Let us not forget about yesterday.

Went to Sunway,had fun.Went shopping for a new purse.Watched a movie,a malay movie to be precise,don't get me wrong,i support my people's movie but they have a tendency of fucking them up with their lame jokes and stupidity,thinking it would attract people to watch.Well that sure backfired.So i resented to watch this movie but whoa was i wrong,well it wasn't bad as i thought,okay i admit,it was good,for a change once.It was 'Lagenda Budak Setan' but it had not much devilishness in it,more towards love and romance.You should watch it,it was great.There was supposed to be Zera there with us so it was basically a boy's day out halfway through our day.Later,we went to Zera and then Alia came so it was not that manly after that.Talked at Manhattan about gossips and controversies among our ilk.Had a fun day,well almost.My happy mood was totally smacked far of the wall when i was waiting for my ride.

My mother kept calling me where to pick me up and i kept saying at the new wing,and she kept calling and calling.At last i had to walk to the other end of the fucking building just to get to the car,and of course i was pissed,and my brother did not make it any more the better.Ugh.

Bought new books,the long awaited True Singapore Ghost Stories series 20 and Percy Jackson.By now i already finished Percy J's book.The book was great,i always had a fascination about Greek mythology so it was just like....just like H again,he reminded me of...remember the similarity in difference post...yes that.I choose that book because of the fact that it reminded me of me,sort of.

Just in H,just in Percy,i saw myself,i saw who I'm now,weak,naive and down right stupid.But,i saw them succeeding,triumphant over their adversity and i somehow longed for it.I want to be them in a way.I don't want to be....me,its not that i don't accept my fate,is just that fate has been battering hard on me and i get a hopeless a lot in my life but them,they managed to rise above it all and somehow made it.What made me like them more is that they are normal,well not like other heroes who somehow seem like they were destined to be heroes,they made themselves from normality to become heroes.I wanted that.Still do.And i just feel so hopeless,so lost,so....me.

The First.

"Love.Simple yet complicated.Neither perfect nor flawed.Its not about rainbows and happily-ever-afters.You have to work for love.You may get hit with a hockey stick or have to carry a drunk women through the streets of New York but who said it was gonna be easy.Love is the most wonderful feeling to ever be felt as a human being.Those who say love is like a nightmare has either never experience love or has been stripped away of their love."

I saw again what inspired me to make this blog and my first ever post.

It was a movie.
My Sassy Girl.
One of my favorites.
I love that movie.It shows sometimes when we think our live are fine,it can get better or worse.And it is so sweet how sometimes life can unite two unlikely people together by the bonds of love.

Love is ancient.It has been here as long as time is.Its like Stonehenge,old,very unusual and down right weird.For those who don't know its usage will think its useless,but for those who do,will certainly cherish it as if life itself.

The thing i don't like about that movie is Jordan's (the girl) view of fate.She leaves everything to fate as if it was a secretary.I don't see fate as glyphs written permanently on stone,unchangeable and unknown,i see it as a blind person sewing,you know you are sewing,you plan what you are sewing,but you don't know exactly how its gonna turn out cause you can't see.You have to sew if you want to get what you sew,get it?


I once had a diary.I wrote there just...well almost like i wrote everything in this blog.There are some personal details that should not be mentioned.

I looked at it again after a while of not opening it after the movie and i was very surprised on how far have i changed since last year.Its like i didn't even knew who wrote the words in there.I wore my first post in there too.Its like i feel different,stronger,better and a little more wiser than before.But life seem much more complicated now.I just sometimes want to go far away from here.I love it here but its just too hard to live here,too complex.At least there my dreams would come true.
My wish.
Berk.

Love,
Hiccup.

Pause.

"...I'll sit on the front porch all night,waist deep in thought because....when i think of you,i don't feel so alone,i don't so alone,i don't feel so alone.As many time as i blink,I'll think of you tonight.I'll think of you tonight..."

Vanilla Twilight-Owl City.

I love love songs.
But I have this habit of not viewing it not as it's should be.
Only sometimes I see them as a song from a lover to another lover but most of the time (well,nowadays) i see them as a friend to a friend.
I think love is like DNA,the basis of it is a person loving another,just like DNA has genetic materials.
But everyone in this world does not have the same DNA,just like love,you don't love this person the same way another person love that person.
You may like this person as a friend but what does another think?
That's why love songs have a different effect on me,i can bend its meaning to anyone intended for it.

Haven't blog in a while,its just that i feel so distracted.If i don't blog for a while and I'm at home,call the ambulance or a psychiatrist cause something might be wrong there.
Mostly up here.

I'll attempt to fill as much as i can in this one post.

After i went to Ikea,a crack appeared on my father's car and he thinks we,my brother and I did it.I'm like defensive and all because i know we didn't and couldn't crack it even if we wanted to.
Firstly,the crack was on the front mirror,how the hell did we did that if the box never even got close to it(well,close enough to crack)?

Secondly,the box was bloody heavy,even two people had to struggle to carry it inside,how the hell did we lift it high enough(without noticing) the crack?

Thirdly,the point of fracture was circular and small,how the fuck does a box can make a circular fracture point? Its square and large.Don't forget heavy.It should have shatter the fucking mirror to bits if it hit it,not a tiny crack.

Always fight if you are right,you may lose,don't get me wrong,sometimes the truth don't win,but you will have peace of mind that you were not wrong and fought for it.


On the same day,i saw this show on Discovery Channel about a man who had a sky diving accident and got stuck in the ocean.At night,he was struggling to stay afloat and he saw this thing from afar and thought it was a salt water alligator.He tried to swim but the thing got close and turns out it was a log.A log.In the middle of the ocean.
Sometimes God doesn't give us what we want,but what we need.That man wanted a search party but got a log.He didn't want it but need it to stay afloat.
To survive.

I wanted to survive alone on this earth but God gave me instead an imaginary friend.At first i was like "Why?",but as i read my old diary (i'll blog about that later),i realized that it was perfect for me,for somebody who thought his imagination to run wild,to have such a friend cause only i can make him real friend by belief which i needed the most then.

So remember,God has a plan for all of us with everything He gives,so don't see the mirror as cracked,see it as not shattered entirely.Then you will see His grand plan.

Love,
Hiccup