Break

Grace cleared her desk as best as she could. It was always a mess. The paperwork on that new overseas branch in China was basically her tablecloth. Good thing she was done with that pesky auditing yesterday or she would need a search team and three bloodhounds to find even a drawer of her desk. Well, her desk is always like this, she thought, might as well keep it that way. She arranged the papers in an order only she understood and when she felt like it was to her pleasure, she turned off her computer and grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

She didn't really like driving to work because of the traffic jam she had to deal with every morning that made her both wanting to scream and pull her hair out and just crash into all the cars in her sight. But she kept doing so as she had no other mode of transportation and teleportation is not an option she had. Though, nights when she had to work overtime like this made it okay as she like driving down nearly empty roads with the music out loud, singing her heart out. She finds it therapeutic, in a sense. But, she liked commuting to work when she drove with Jason. He makes traffic jams all seem like friendly people who are happy to see you in the morning. not those people that honk at you 27 times just because you won't move that 2 inches of space the car ahead of hers just freed. Maybe because he was the one that drives.

She got out of the building and headed for the car in the parking lot. She had only 2 things on her mind, a hot shower and a kiss from Jason, maybe a little more than that if she felt like it. Yeah, that's a good way to end the day. Better step on the pedal then, she thought.


After driving for about 20 minutes, Grace reached home in record time, with a slight sore throat from all those pop songs blasting through her speakers. She saw Jason's bike parked outside her house. He usually got home earlier than she did. Her terrace house had been her home for 3 years now since she moved from her hometown to pursue her dream of climbing up the corporate ladder and becoming successful, the dream now pretty much her reality as she is a leading executive in a rising international freight company. Though she had gotten used to the usual looks from nosy relatives during the occasional weddings and Christmas gatherings about her male-dominated occupation, it was still better than the looks she received when told she is still single.

Many others, including Jason himself found it hard to believe that the woman who is living the high life in front of them is approaching 30. She thanked her mom's good genes of making women in her family age gracefully and her dad's ever determined zeal to succeed. She still remembered her father cheering her on as she ran at her kindergarten sports day in the 100 meter race as if she is competing in the Olympics. He may have been a little over the top sometimes but her dad had been her personal cheerleader, supporting her in everything she did.

She parked her car right in front of Jason's bike, its orange and yellow stripes shining in the light of her car. She made extra effort not to hit it accidentally. "She's my baby, right after you, of course", he said once. She got out of the car and went to the bike. Weird, she thought, he usually parks his baby very properly. Maybe he was in a hurry or something.

Grace headed straight to the front door, with the foliage surrounding her house making her feel right at home. The front porch light was turned on, so Jason must be here. Going inside, she thought Jason would be right in front of the door, as he does most of the time but he wasn't there. He said he could smell her at the door just like a freshly baked pizza being delivered by the delivery guy. She didn't know what to think of that notion, though she felt it was a compliment.

"Jason?", she asked the seemingly empty house, quietly waiting for a reply. Nothing. "Jason, are you in the bathroom?", she shouted louder. Still nothing. Abducted by aliens, maybe. Or sleeping. She took off her shoes and went upstairs. Slowly creaking the bedroom door open, she half anticipated him snoring on the bed, the other half waiting for him to jump out and scare her from the bathroom. Empty. The bed looking just as she left it this morning, with the pillows and sheets all tucked neatly. Where could he be?

She headed back downstairs, checking the kitchen for any signs of him. Everything was there, except for Jason. Sitting on the chair at the center of the kitchen, she wondered where could he be. After grabbing a glass of water, she went to the living room. Wanting to drown the silence, she tried to turn on the tv but wondering where Jason is made her think otherwise. Maybe he went for a walk, she thought.

Suddenly she saw something that caught her eye on the floor. A pill. One of Jason's nicotine pills. He usually keeps it inside a breath mint box. One day, out of curiosity that can no longer be contained, she asked him why he always seem to eat mints. He said '"They aren't mints, it's for my smoking". He said he quit a while back but still needed the pills. "Oh, that explains why your breath is never minty fresh when i kiss you". He laughed, the laugh that made her smile every time she hears it

While wondering why it was on the floor, she saw that there were more on the floor. She bend down and search the floor for the box. She found it underneath the couch, with something else. A piece of paper. She read its contents and placed it in her pocket. She took all the scattered pills and gathered them. Heading for the door, she grabbed her coat, put on her flats and headed out the door in a hurry. All of a sudden, she knew where Jason was, or at least, where he might be.


She jogs regularly around her neighborhood during the weekends. A lake nearby looks spectacular in the mornings where the sky is just clear enough. But now, there should be nothing much there other than the light of park lamps. Jason been there a few times and loves it. "I just have a thing for bodies of water. They are just so calming and majestic.", he once said at the lake, while looking at Grace. "What?! I'm not a body of water! Well, technically i am filled with water....but that's beside the point. Are you saying i'm fat?". "And how did you come to that conclusion? I just thought you looked beautiful just like the seas and the oceans under the setting sun, that's all.", he said defensively. "Ugh, i hate it when you do that. Annoy me and make me love you at the same time. Makes me want to slap you.", she said, fuming. "That's my specialty, babe.", he said as he drew closer for a kiss but she managed to dodge it and escape the grasp of her captor.

She searched around in the night, surrounded by trees and the darkness of night. She paced quickly down the path surrounding the lake. And there she found her knight in shinning armor, all clad in black on the bench under the yellow light of an incandescent lamp, staring into the obsidian lake. She walked slowly and sat next to him on the bench. "Hi." "Hello.", he said rather blankly. She tried to get a glimpse of his face. Not a happy face, she thought silently. Jason's eyes were red, either he hadn't sleep for a while, had a go at some alcohol, been pepper sprayed by someone or he had been crying before. She assumed some of them to be correct.

He was holding a rock, as if waiting for the right time to skip across the water and let it sink beneath the water. She was frantically trying to think of something to say, at which in the end she just felt like she should just keep quite for a while. Silence surrounded them and for a while both of them just sat there without a need to say anything.

"Good day at work?", he asked as if to draw less attention to himself. "Yeah, okay, hectic but could have been worse." "Hmmm, what else could be worse?" he said while letting out a sigh and she suddenly felt the desire to retract her statement. "Yeah, i think you dropped your 'mints' on the floor. Here you go." He took the box and held it in his palm with his other hand holding the rock. He got up and threw both the rock and the box into the lake, where they would lie together forever. "I hate mints", he mumbled under his breath as he sat back down again.

"Well, some people like mints, while others just have bad breath so they need mints", she said to him with an ounce of innuendo in her words. He chuckled once, indicating he knew what she was saying. "You're saying i have bad breath now, do you?" He stood up again and got to the edge of the water. " Why can't I for once just be....ugh....", he said as he tried to contain his frustration. Jason squatted down, with his hands on his head, and he felt like the world was spinning and standing still at the same time. He felt powerless to make himself feel better about...himself.

Grace just sat there, doing her best to just be there for Jason. "I've been trying to hide it from you but i just can't do it anymore. I love you, I do. But I just don't want you to have to deal with me and all the shit that i happen to have. I just feel like i'm breaking apart", he sat back down on the bench with his head down to the ground. Suddenly the silence came back and they both sat in silence for a moment in each other's company.

Moving closer to Jason, Grace then grabbed his hand and leaned beside him. "Did you remember the time when we fought in your apartment. I remember. I was having a bad day with work and stuff. Something started our argument. I think it was you not doing the dishes. You kept calm while i was just losing it. I just couldn't keep my cool. Suddenly you grab your keys and just left. And i was just there, all alone and i just regretted all the things i had said. And i just cried all alone in your room. And the thought of losing you just made me cried harder. After a while, you came back, and you brought back ice cream from the store. I had mention i wanted ice cream before our argument. And i just hugged you and i never wanted to let you go." Jason just held her hand and he kissed it. "I remember", he said, smiling.

"When i had my bad days, you were the one that helped me see things through. You were there. And now, i am here. For you. And I love you, everything you are, with all of my heart.", she said with tears in her eyes. He hugged her and whispered, " I love you too".

"Come, lets go home", Grace got up and tried to pull him up. Jason got up put his arms around her. They both walked down the dimly lit path together. She stopped abruptly. "Oh, you are gonna need your 'mints' back", she took out a handful of them from her pocket, with its prescription slip. "For your information, they are usually called antidepressants. God, luckily i didn't ask from you one.", she said, laughing. "Oh, I have another box of real mints in case someone asked for some. I thought you would have guessed why i carry two mint boxes." "Yeah. God, you are just weird. Good thing you're my weirdo.", she said, wrapping herself around his arms.

He stopped and turned to face her, kissing her in the dark. "Best antidepressant around", he said, smiling. "Yeah, I've been waiting for my dose for a long while. I wouldn't mind an overdose.", she said as she kissed him again.

Average?

Yes, I am a guy who watches obsessively Phineas and Ferb nearly everyday all day, tends to a garden and finds chick lit a little more than entertaining than the usual male specimen. That's just who i am. And I like who i am, most of the time. To tell you the truth, i don't know how the hell i got the way i am. But what i do know is i am definitely not the average joe. I am just one weird motherf**ker.

Even with all the weird shit i do, i always wonder why people seem to steer away from me. Do i have body odour or something? Well, i do, at times, but that doesn't explain why i seem to repel people like a magnet? I wonder with a certain degree of amazement and utter bewilderment. Because i try with a fevorous zeal to make people like me. I do. I make small talk. I make jokes. I get intimate (well, as intimate as i want). I listen. I make an impression. I remember to at least try to be good person.

But it seems I always get thrown back into an ocean of undesirable fishes as if i meant nothing to most people. And trust me, it gets increasingly depressing to try to make friends but i still do try at times. Don't get me wrong, i do have very good friends that i find to be the most wonderful people i have ever met, but a high percentage seem to either have severe amnesia or maybe just hate me silently. I'm guessing it's the amnesia, i should think twice before i invite people to go anvil hanging.

*sigh*

Or maybe i'm just dull and boring? Nah, that's not it. I'll admit, I am antisocial at times but when you get me going i am just a party animal. *growls sensually*

I had this friend, a girl, and we are like super close back in high school. Well, maybe that's just me. Anyway, we went our separate ways and i spent a year away from home at matrics where i rarely talk to her cause i don't own a laptop then and i could only borrow it from my darling roommate Rashdan at times and even that i didn't dare ask him for internet because i didn't want to push my luck.

Blablabla then i got out and i tried to reconnect with her. I tried to chat with her every chance i got and all i got was halfhearted replies and it was just me trying rather desperately to keep the conversation going. I tried and tried and then finally i just stopped trying. I just got tired of investing my emotion. I don't blame her much, maybe we were no longer on the same terms or anything. But i just hate it when people i value drift apart from me like clouds in the sky. It makes me sad.

Last week or so, it was her birthday and i wanted to wish her so badly but i just couldn't. I just felt like it was a waste of my time. And now that it passed, i felt kinda bad that i didn't. Alia, if you're reading this somehow, happy birthday.

I call these group of people 'The Lost Ones'. People who meant something to me but we drift apart as what fate has written for us. I have a few more people, some i tried to reconnect the same way but apparently i had lost them too, but i'd rather not mention. I guess God has plans for all of us. I just wished He would give me a heads up on those stuff.

Ahhh, actually the reason why i started to write this post was because i read this article on why girls only seem to date bad guys and stuff like that. Hahaha. It turned out to be something else entirely.

I always think myself as a good guy and one thing is for sure is that i personally don't care if girls prefer bad guys over good ones. Why do i want to change my good self just to get chicks? I'd consider it if that girl happens to be Megan Fox but other than that i won't do it. Some consider being bad or a player or whatever kids these days say to be cool and whatnot, but i think being good is the best way to get the right girl. Basically by being good you eliminate all other potential unstable and crazy girls that like them bad boys and attract all them good kind of girls that  you wanna marry and have babies and shit.

That to me seems like a good thing. I'd rather get rejected a hundred times by girls rather than mistreating and possibly missing my chance at one good catch. Well, that's how i see it. I don't know how i'd feel after having being rejected by a hundred girls but i'll let you know if i ever get there.

Till then, i just have to be the same old me. Weird, childish, loner, know-it-all, strongly opinionated (someone actually told my sister that i am a very opinionated person. god, i never knew i was one), joker, and pretty much an awesome person in my opinion. And above all, not your average everyday kind of guy.