"It stills hurt when I look to the sky.It reminds me of you.Don't know why it hurts.But no matter whatever happens,I won't forget you,I'll never stop believing you.And,maybe,one day,tomorrow,next week,next year or in the next life,I will join you,up there,flying with you,together,only be separated by God and gravity.But not today.Not now.So be it.But one day..."
*sighs*
Okay,I remembered something that happened to me I think 2 years ago,can't remember when it happen but what happen I remembered in high definition.
We were visiting family members,friends,and long lost aunts during raya and on our way my mother was frantically trying to find our bearings and when we did we we were not that sure.So I said,"Never mind,if we took the wrong turn we can still turn around",but my mother insisted and said it would be hard as we were on the highway.I,don't know what possessed me,sternly said we can turn around.
I think,its because i wanted it,that option,that choice,to turn around if things went wrong,that option to change the course of my life if i felt necessary.I wanted that option.Surely we all have choices,in the situation above we could turn around if we took the wrong turn but we feel like that was not a choice at all,and even if we felt like turning around was a choice,it would be as if jumping of a plane with an umbrella,ludicrous.Any and every choice we make would have its pros and cons,but that's the risk of making choices.
So always feel,no,always know that you always have a choice,you always have an alternative if you feel like the first choice is not to your liking.Some might think that when you went for fashion design/decided to play the piano/bought that red top at Elle was a stupid and crazy decision but its not their decision to make.Its yours.I think they don't mean to disagree with your choices,they just care so much for your well being or scared to make those choices themselves.
So,go,make that choice,go,buy that top at Elle,let them feel your bravery and confidence and maybe one day they'll share it with you.And if you ever feel that your choice is wrong,then you will have to realize and face the risk of making choices,that you might have to face the hardship of.....
turning around.
Love,
Hiccup.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Ocean of belief.
"The heart.
Like an ocean.
Deep.
At times its waters turbulent,at times calm.
At times its waters cold,at times warm.
Not many can dive there or be let to.
Its waters,sacred to its owner.
Clean and pristine,or dirty and defiled.
Even let be dive there,not many can survive.
Nor comprehend its waters."
*sigh*
I want to be a Viking teenager (and also part Elven),living on an island,riding dragons,exploring the bounties of nature,living off the land.
Wild imagination,huh?
There is nothing wrong with imagining,hoping or dreaming.
After much thinking,I have found the gateway to let imaginations and dreams run rampant in our so called reality.Its the important component towards everything we have done and everything we are going to do.Not the only component but a vital one.
Belief.
If you want to be a topless belly dancer at the heart of the Swiss Alps,
If you want to be a mermaid living in the Sahara desert,
If you want to find the cure for PMS,
If you want to be a Viking teenager and riding dragons,
To start it off,all you have to do is....
believe.
Its like trying to nail a nail on a wall,belief is the hammer to knock it hard on the wall.
The effort that you put in to knocking it,that is hard work and sacrifices.
No matter how many times you've fallen towards the ground because of life,no matter how much weight your carrying on your shoulders,no matter how hard life throw at you its lemons,
If you believe you can be better,
The veil between reality and dreams will be blurred.
And the impossible will die,
in turn its place will be taken by the possible.
And you will rise from the darkness of your life,into the light.
And your burden will become as light as air.
And you take those lemons and make some lemonades.
Just like that Glee song,'Don't Stop Believing',
don't stop.
When you stop believing,i assure you,life won't get any better,happier or more fulfilled.
And always live your life to the fullest.People say that time is like gold.
Imagine this,if you have all the gold in the world,but never use it.Then,what's the point of having them in the first place.
So,its not about how much time do you have,its about how you use it.
*listening to Charice feat Iyaz-Pyramid*
Love,Hiccup.
Like an ocean.
Deep.
At times its waters turbulent,at times calm.
At times its waters cold,at times warm.
Not many can dive there or be let to.
Its waters,sacred to its owner.
Clean and pristine,or dirty and defiled.
Even let be dive there,not many can survive.
Nor comprehend its waters."
*sigh*
I want to be a Viking teenager (and also part Elven),living on an island,riding dragons,exploring the bounties of nature,living off the land.
Wild imagination,huh?
There is nothing wrong with imagining,hoping or dreaming.
After much thinking,I have found the gateway to let imaginations and dreams run rampant in our so called reality.Its the important component towards everything we have done and everything we are going to do.Not the only component but a vital one.
Belief.
If you want to be a topless belly dancer at the heart of the Swiss Alps,
If you want to be a mermaid living in the Sahara desert,
If you want to find the cure for PMS,
If you want to be a Viking teenager and riding dragons,
To start it off,all you have to do is....
believe.
Its like trying to nail a nail on a wall,belief is the hammer to knock it hard on the wall.
The effort that you put in to knocking it,that is hard work and sacrifices.
No matter how many times you've fallen towards the ground because of life,no matter how much weight your carrying on your shoulders,no matter how hard life throw at you its lemons,
If you believe you can be better,
The veil between reality and dreams will be blurred.
And the impossible will die,
in turn its place will be taken by the possible.
And you will rise from the darkness of your life,into the light.
And your burden will become as light as air.
And you take those lemons and make some lemonades.
Just like that Glee song,'Don't Stop Believing',
don't stop.
When you stop believing,i assure you,life won't get any better,happier or more fulfilled.
And always live your life to the fullest.People say that time is like gold.
Imagine this,if you have all the gold in the world,but never use it.Then,what's the point of having them in the first place.
So,its not about how much time do you have,its about how you use it.
*listening to Charice feat Iyaz-Pyramid*
Love,Hiccup.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Post Overdrive
Been posting a lot these days.Too much on my mind.I have to clear the clutter and where else is better than a blog...
I have been searching the reason for me being here,suffering like hell in this life and then i realised something I'd realise before but didn't took any notice.Somebody,being very anonymous stated that I was "really open minded etc" and that made me realise that to me,i wasn't the open minded person as the person stated.This reached to the conclusion that my life is devoted to helping others.Not in a nurse or volunteer type of way but in my own way.
I could give strength to others but have none of my own.I could comfort people in distress but not when I'm in it.I could inspire people to be better in their lives but not be any better in mine.Its like i could talk the talk but couldn't walk the walk,get it?
Okay,next topic.I said to someone that you should believe in the impossible to make it possible but I somehow know its hard because its very hard to believe when you know deep down it could just go sour for you.But,you have to try,try to believe.Only then dreams can claw their way up from the pits of your mind and into the light of reality.
Next,I overheard a friend being hurt by someone close to her,a friend most likely and i couldn't help her at that time because she doesn't want me to but i could at least give her something to help her here.
Okay,always,i mean,always remember to add "human " in every 'equation' that involves them (Whoaaa,very mathematical,i know).In equation i mean interaction. Don't trust,love,care or befriend someone entirely.I don't mean to not trust or love anybody,I'm just saying that what you are loving,trusting,caring is humans,one of the most non-perfect creature in the world.So if they betray,cheat or lie to you is their nature to do so.So,never give all your love,trust or friendship to someone so you don't get hurt the next time but give enough to make sure that they don't have a reason to hurt you.Never dwell on the past and always look to the future,love.
Just like my idol,HHH III.Think of the things that have left,not what you've lost.
I have always find comfort in hearing other people's problem as i do when i'm talking about them.Its like when i solve your problems,i get closer to solve mine.So,if you ever need an ear to listen,i'm always here,lending mine,making sure my purpose in life is fulfilled.
*listening to Taylor Swift-Fearless*
I have been searching the reason for me being here,suffering like hell in this life and then i realised something I'd realise before but didn't took any notice.Somebody,being very anonymous stated that I was "really open minded etc" and that made me realise that to me,i wasn't the open minded person as the person stated.This reached to the conclusion that my life is devoted to helping others.Not in a nurse or volunteer type of way but in my own way.
I could give strength to others but have none of my own.I could comfort people in distress but not when I'm in it.I could inspire people to be better in their lives but not be any better in mine.Its like i could talk the talk but couldn't walk the walk,get it?
Okay,next topic.I said to someone that you should believe in the impossible to make it possible but I somehow know its hard because its very hard to believe when you know deep down it could just go sour for you.But,you have to try,try to believe.Only then dreams can claw their way up from the pits of your mind and into the light of reality.
Next,I overheard a friend being hurt by someone close to her,a friend most likely and i couldn't help her at that time because she doesn't want me to but i could at least give her something to help her here.
Okay,always,i mean,always remember to add "human " in every 'equation' that involves them (Whoaaa,very mathematical,i know).In equation i mean interaction. Don't trust,love,care or befriend someone entirely.I don't mean to not trust or love anybody,I'm just saying that what you are loving,trusting,caring is humans,one of the most non-perfect creature in the world.So if they betray,cheat or lie to you is their nature to do so.So,never give all your love,trust or friendship to someone so you don't get hurt the next time but give enough to make sure that they don't have a reason to hurt you.Never dwell on the past and always look to the future,love.
Just like my idol,HHH III.Think of the things that have left,not what you've lost.
I have always find comfort in hearing other people's problem as i do when i'm talking about them.Its like when i solve your problems,i get closer to solve mine.So,if you ever need an ear to listen,i'm always here,lending mine,making sure my purpose in life is fulfilled.
*listening to Taylor Swift-Fearless*
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Lies and Thumbdrives
Okayyyy...in an attempt to feel normal back,I'm blogging about other stuff,okay?
*listening to Taylor Swift-The Best Day*
Dedicated to my mother dearest,
Happy Birthday.
"I could give you the sky,the earth and everything in between,
but what would all of that mean without my daunting love for you."
Okay,last Tuesday i practically stole my brother's thumbdrive to *thud-thud*(read last post).......give D and N H.T.T.Y.D.Okay,telling with faster pace....
borrowed without asking.
transferred data to computer to put H.T.T.Y.D.
gave to N next day.
gave to D next day.
later,father ask where is it.
lying,telling idk
cannot transfer data back cause computer fucked up.
panicking at the sight of brother coming back on Friday.
bla bla bla now i'm fine.
Lying is like a web.Weave it at the right time and you might catch the thing you want.But,the web might break or catch you in the end.Sooo,be like me...lie when necessary but make sure the truth is there to free you if you get caught.I'd ask you to stop lying to make things easier but knowing humans.......well,lying isn't always bad,its also the half-brother of imagination.
Imaginations are lies too,only instead to other people,this web is for you.So,be careful....as stated,webs break.
*listening to Taylor Swift-The Best Day*
Dedicated to my mother dearest,
Happy Birthday.
"I could give you the sky,the earth and everything in between,
but what would all of that mean without my daunting love for you."
Okay,last Tuesday i practically stole my brother's thumbdrive to *thud-thud*(read last post).......give D and N H.T.T.Y.D.Okay,telling with faster pace....
borrowed without asking.
transferred data to computer to put H.T.T.Y.D.
gave to N next day.
gave to D next day.
later,father ask where is it.
lying,telling idk
cannot transfer data back cause computer fucked up.
panicking at the sight of brother coming back on Friday.
bla bla bla now i'm fine.
Lying is like a web.Weave it at the right time and you might catch the thing you want.But,the web might break or catch you in the end.Sooo,be like me...lie when necessary but make sure the truth is there to free you if you get caught.I'd ask you to stop lying to make things easier but knowing humans.......well,lying isn't always bad,its also the half-brother of imagination.
Imaginations are lies too,only instead to other people,this web is for you.So,be careful....as stated,webs break.
H.T.T.Y.D.
*listening to Lady Antebellum-Need You Now*
*breathing heavily*
*sigh*
First things first,thanks to Diana,Nadirah,Adrina,and Alia.Those ears you lend to me was really appreciated and I thought you should know that ears are a precious gift you can give to people.It's better that a nose,noses are just so....well,nosey.
So,as you can see...still not cured.Thanks to D my ailment now has an acronym.For your information,H.T.T.Y.D doesn't scare me okay (D still picturing me running around the lab, screaming,huh?).
Its not scary at all,its just that when i see,think,picture,imagine or relate anything to H.T.T.Y.D,
*thud-thud*
It hurts.Its like hiting a brick wall.It remainds me that...
It hurts living in this thing you people call a body and living a life close enough for the devil to call its home.
It hurts trying to cope with everything people throw at you and expect you to catch them.
It hurts trying to adapt to surroundings that changes every second.
It hurts trying to lift yourself up when things are at its lowest.
It hurts just to breathe.
It hurts being me.
*thud-thud*
As i'm typing,the rain is pouring outside,thunder shakes the earth.
Thunder.
'The offspring of lightning and death'. *thud-thud*
Every day,
every time i look up to the sky *thud-thud*
Today,it got worse as i entered MPH and saw the book about H.T.T.Y.D.
Imagine a 747 falling on you in a bookstore.*thud-thud-thud*
I just want life to be a little easier,less stressful,more hopeful,and down right like in H.T.T.Y.D.
Simple.Easy,To the point.
I just want somebody to be loyal to me and to be loyal at,to be with me through thick and thin,to stand by me whatever the situation.(I just can't trust humans as well as i did,they just too....)
IS THAT SO F**KING TOO MUCH TO ASK,HUH?!!!!!
*sigh*
Usually,before i sleep i sing to myself just to relax before escaping to anywhere and everywhere.
Nowadays,i either trying to comfort myself with words that do nothing or failing at that and sleeping in a pool of tears.
'thank you for summing that up' *thud-thud*
*breathing heavily*
*sigh*
First things first,thanks to Diana,Nadirah,Adrina,and Alia.Those ears you lend to me was really appreciated and I thought you should know that ears are a precious gift you can give to people.It's better that a nose,noses are just so....well,nosey.
So,as you can see...still not cured.Thanks to D my ailment now has an acronym.For your information,H.T.T.Y.D doesn't scare me okay (D still picturing me running around the lab, screaming,huh?).
Its not scary at all,its just that when i see,think,picture,imagine or relate anything to H.T.T.Y.D,
*thud-thud*
It hurts.Its like hiting a brick wall.It remainds me that...
It hurts living in this thing you people call a body and living a life close enough for the devil to call its home.
It hurts trying to cope with everything people throw at you and expect you to catch them.
It hurts trying to adapt to surroundings that changes every second.
It hurts trying to lift yourself up when things are at its lowest.
It hurts just to breathe.
It hurts being me.
*thud-thud*
As i'm typing,the rain is pouring outside,thunder shakes the earth.
Thunder.
'The offspring of lightning and death'. *thud-thud*
Every day,
every time i look up to the sky *thud-thud*
Today,it got worse as i entered MPH and saw the book about H.T.T.Y.D.
Imagine a 747 falling on you in a bookstore.*thud-thud-thud*
I just want life to be a little easier,less stressful,more hopeful,and down right like in H.T.T.Y.D.
Simple.Easy,To the point.
I just want somebody to be loyal to me and to be loyal at,to be with me through thick and thin,to stand by me whatever the situation.(I just can't trust humans as well as i did,they just too....)
IS THAT SO F**KING TOO MUCH TO ASK,HUH?!!!!!
*sigh*
Usually,before i sleep i sing to myself just to relax before escaping to anywhere and everywhere.
Nowadays,i either trying to comfort myself with words that do nothing or failing at that and sleeping in a pool of tears.
'thank you for summing that up' *thud-thud*
Monday, April 12, 2010
Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III
* listening to Kesha-'Your Love Is My Drug' *
To my non-existent readers,hi...
To those that are close to me,you know that i have been having some problems with my noggin these days or as i like to call it 'an allergic reaction to imagination'.
To those who might be wondering about my title,it's all related to my problems,including my last post.
To explain thoroughly about my problems,you'd better read the Oxford Dictionary,it's shorter. Let's just say that that my reality took arms against my dreams,imaginations and hopes.But now they have agreed to live with each other than to be at war.
Okay,this is what i felt:
"My life sucks".
This is what i feel now:
"My life sucked".
And this is what i'm gonna do:
"My life will never suck again"
Simple,isn't it?
But i'm not exactly cured yet.I know how to cure myself but haven't found the cure yet.
But still I would like to say thanks to Hiccup for helping me in my time of need and i can safely and confidently say that....
"I love you,Hiccup......as my idol,as my friend, and as your own self"
People might say you don't actually exist in real life,but as long as you're in my heart and in my dreams.....
you are as real as anyone can be.....
To my non-existent readers,hi...
To those that are close to me,you know that i have been having some problems with my noggin these days or as i like to call it 'an allergic reaction to imagination'.
To those who might be wondering about my title,it's all related to my problems,including my last post.
To explain thoroughly about my problems,you'd better read the Oxford Dictionary,it's shorter. Let's just say that that my reality took arms against my dreams,imaginations and hopes.But now they have agreed to live with each other than to be at war.
Okay,this is what i felt:
"My life sucks".
This is what i feel now:
"My life sucked".
And this is what i'm gonna do:
"My life will never suck again"
Simple,isn't it?
But i'm not exactly cured yet.I know how to cure myself but haven't found the cure yet.
But still I would like to say thanks to Hiccup for helping me in my time of need and i can safely and confidently say that....
"I love you,Hiccup......as my idol,as my friend, and as your own self"
People might say you don't actually exist in real life,but as long as you're in my heart and in my dreams.....
you are as real as anyone can be.....
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Dragons
Been posting a lot these days....
but this one i feel i must post it,not willingly.I just have to say it out loud or type it.....
Recently i been having these unusual obsession with......
The movie 'How To Train Your Dragon'. Well,it might not be that serious to some but to me it feels...kinda weird.I just love its main character 'Hiccup' and also how the movie ends.
To me i feel just like Hiccup,so alone,out of place from our surroundings,not following the status quo,just trying to fit in. I also see a lot in him that i want to be. Brave,loyal,trustworthy,strong in the face of adversity,forgiving,kind,determined.
I think the movie's ending was one of the best I have ever seen in a supposedly children's movie.
Here's a bit of it: After fighting the dragon that was causing fear in all the other dragons and indirectly effecting the Vikings,Hiccup finds himself in his room,wounded and accompanied by his pet,Toothless.He sees the dragon being very excited at his awakening and climbs off the bed.
He then sees his one of his foot has been replaced by a prosthetic leg.He takes a few steps then stumbles only to be caught by his trusting pet with its head (you will see that he is just the same as Toothless,needing one another to help each other to walk/fly).He then walks outside to see his villagers living and building their village revolving around the dragons they once used to fear.Bla bla bla....the end.
Its one of the most interesting ending because it shows that in life,there are no perfect endings to the story of life.It can get pretty close to it but not exactly the real deal.It also shows that everything has a price,in this case a foot for a not-an-exactly happy ending.
And i just love Hiccup and Toothless,they are just so cuteeeeee. :)
but this one i feel i must post it,not willingly.I just have to say it out loud or type it.....
Recently i been having these unusual obsession with......
The movie 'How To Train Your Dragon'. Well,it might not be that serious to some but to me it feels...kinda weird.I just love its main character 'Hiccup' and also how the movie ends.
To me i feel just like Hiccup,so alone,out of place from our surroundings,not following the status quo,just trying to fit in. I also see a lot in him that i want to be. Brave,loyal,trustworthy,strong in the face of adversity,forgiving,kind,determined.
I think the movie's ending was one of the best I have ever seen in a supposedly children's movie.
Here's a bit of it: After fighting the dragon that was causing fear in all the other dragons and indirectly effecting the Vikings,Hiccup finds himself in his room,wounded and accompanied by his pet,Toothless.He sees the dragon being very excited at his awakening and climbs off the bed.
He then sees his one of his foot has been replaced by a prosthetic leg.He takes a few steps then stumbles only to be caught by his trusting pet with its head (you will see that he is just the same as Toothless,needing one another to help each other to walk/fly).He then walks outside to see his villagers living and building their village revolving around the dragons they once used to fear.Bla bla bla....the end.
Its one of the most interesting ending because it shows that in life,there are no perfect endings to the story of life.It can get pretty close to it but not exactly the real deal.It also shows that everything has a price,in this case a foot for a not-an-exactly happy ending.
And i just love Hiccup and Toothless,they are just so cuteeeeee. :)
Thursday, April 1, 2010
The 'S' word.
STRESS.SHIT.STRESS.SHIT.STRESS
Urggggghhhhhh!!!!!!
I'm stressed about everything today.
stressaboutlearning.stressabouthomework.stressaboutfriends.
stressaboutteachers.stressaboutfamily.
stressabouthome.stressaboutbody.stressaboutmind.
stressaboutsoul.stressaboutholiday.stressabouteverything.
stressaboutstress.
I'M FUCKING STRESS EVEN ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS!!!!(its just a two day break actually)
I nearly had a heart attack as i went to school this morning but i was okay then. (seriously)
It all started during Agama when my boiling point reached its maximum point. (went crazy for a while)
But then,ooohhh,but then during Physics I think I had lost it.Of course I didn't show it but damn was i really screwed up at that time.I could have burn and killed our entire class in the lab. (drama queen)
Urghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
huh...
chill.take a chill pill,son.
*swallowing large pill*
ahhhhhhh.
much better.
Okay,now I'm gonna go building jumping with no rope or safety attire.
Urggggghhhhhh!!!!!!
I'm stressed about everything today.
stressaboutlearning.stressabouthomework.stressaboutfriends.
stressaboutteachers.stressaboutfamily.
stressabouthome.stressaboutbody.stressaboutmind.
stressaboutsoul.stressaboutholiday.stressabouteverything.
stressaboutstress.
I'M FUCKING STRESS EVEN ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS!!!!(its just a two day break actually)
I nearly had a heart attack as i went to school this morning but i was okay then. (seriously)
It all started during Agama when my boiling point reached its maximum point. (went crazy for a while)
But then,ooohhh,but then during Physics I think I had lost it.Of course I didn't show it but damn was i really screwed up at that time.I could have burn and killed our entire class in the lab. (drama queen)
Urghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
huh...
chill.take a chill pill,son.
*swallowing large pill*
ahhhhhhh.
much better.
Okay,now I'm gonna go building jumping with no rope or safety attire.
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