Fate.

I think I'm quite cruel and heartless towards my little sister.Its not that I want to be,its just that I can't help it.If I have it my way,the thought of it will never even cross my mind.I think its because of long term exposure to extreme amount of depression.Most of all I think its because I don't want her to ever,ever be like me.I don't want her to be destroyed by hopes,killed by sadness or murdered by everyone around her.

I never want her to ever be burdened by the type of sadness that I had to carry and the one that I'm going to.Its unbearable to feel this pain.It never goes away,it just stays there.The thought of ending this pain has cross my mind too many times.Thinking about God,my family and my friends is the only thing that is stopping me.

But now without enough of the second part around me,my soul is getting weaker.It may not even last the night.But what can I do? I can't change the mind that is not mine.If I can,I would do anything to make them stay but I'm letting them go only because its for their own good.Its the only thing that is making me let go of their hand.

I know this seems so dramatic and emo shit but I value true friends as a rare and valuable commodity.I hope you all go with a part of me and come back with your success.Now the only thing that I can do to hold back this tears is to be thankful for what I have left and pray to be granted strength in my time of need.