Retrospect

I'll just keep it simple. I have never felt so happy in my life. Never. Last Wednesday,I took my result. And I was happy. If someone else got it,I'm sure they would frown or worse, but I was just super bloody content. I was happy, joyful, uplifted, ecstatic and everything in between. I never felt so... that. I can't even describe the feeling. I guess the closest thing is floating. That.

Because I didn't do my best. I didn't gave it my all,but I still got better than some unfortunate souls. And even though I tried to gave them my best words of comfort,I knew if I were in their place,I would've done worst than just mope around. Much worst. But I didn't. And for that I'm eternally grateful to the man upstairs.

Now,I wondered,why was I so happy like a child who just won a chocolate factory? Even that night,at 5, I tried to sleep after waking up and I couldn't,because I was shaking from the sheer joy of it all. Then,it hit me (And wondered why I hadn't thought of it in the first place).


My life has not been an easy one. I was puking like a drunk lord, cut open by a scalpel, had my intestines spewed out of me like a slaughtered animal, had it stitched up, had been humiliated in public in more numerous occasion than I'd like to count, had gone to counselling all by the ripe age of ten.(crazy since birth,haha! I bet the intestines had something to do with it.)

I had almost broken my back,nearly humiliated myself to death, (God,thinking of that moment makes me want to kill myself) went through 'my parents didn't love me' phase, had more fingers than friends, went through 'God kill me please,I beg you' phase,not to mention neat freak phase, went through puberty. (at least,I thought it was, I think)

Then,went to a parasitic phase,everything after that is much of a blur, but then it went downhill,then back up,then the imaginary phase went on (till now), then I had the same amount of friends than I had a heart,which was none, went through insanity and back, then back to more fingers than friends, then broke my fingers and said I had none. Fell in love then forgot that I had no heart,so no need for that. Went through insanity (again!) and never came back.

And now I'm here.

I've been through more than I care to remember,and for that I have aged more than it shows on my id. But for such a small thing,that results showed me more than just how I did in the exam. It build a path across to the future,for more hell on Earth,and for the good things to come.