Conversations

Hello there, i know it's been a while since i wrote anything here. Internet problems and being busy with assignments. Life is just hectic nowadays. Anyway, it's fucking 4 in the morning, i am super sleepy and yet here i am. I wanted to write this after i got some sleep but i thought meh, what the hell.

I am back home for my mid-semester break and i have a ton of stuff to write about and a few i still owe. Yeah, but i just want to be random these days. A few while back i saw this girl while walking at UTM. She said hi and i replied. All the while i was wondering, who the hell was that girl? It took me quite a long while to jog an old memory out of the crevices of my mind. But fortunately, i remembered it, and was the second most wonderful and spontaneous things i had ever done, the other one was about that speech i sabotaged in 'Happy Now?'. Hahaha, that was fun.

I was still in the matriculation programme, and i was going back home with my friend from secondary school, izzat. We were just waiting for the bus to come, when izzat stuck a conversation with some girls. I didn't think much of it, because they were from his module. And then the bus came, and izzat sat next to his other friend while i sat alone. One of the girls had no place to sit because her friends was already sitting next to each other.

So, i welcomed her to sit next to me, and she did. At first, she was reserved, as expected. But then, we talked like we've known each other since kindergarten. We talked from the start of our journey till the end of mine, which was like 2-3 hours, and there was a jam too so add a few minutes to that. I can't remember much of our conversation but we just talked like crazy. She said she was tired but fortunately she still continued our conversation. The only thing i could remember was her name.

Maria.....i think. Hahaha.

To tell you the truth, i don't remember anything about what we talked. It's that we talked at all that made me so happy. I loved it. It was just so random and exciting. I am the type of person who lives by my own rules, restrictions and regulations, and to do something so out there is just so....intoxicating. It has always been my dream to just go for a trip on a bus or a train and just grab some random stranger, and talk. Just that. To know someone. And it came true. Like magic.

I always picture moments in my life, for example in a restaurant, is that every single decision, mistakes, choices, and turns brought each and every one in that room for that one instance. And i want to know all of that. Those things that have so suddenly made us close enough to each other and brought us to have that one conversation.

I know, pretty deep shit. But yeah. And to have that one moment of having someone interested in who you are. It's just feels.... meaningful.

For me, it's quite hard to just let go of people. To talk with someone, to be friends and just will that moment away like it's dust in the wind. I get attached, emotionally and personally to a person. I love and care for that person. I guess i have a big heart. I just love people. But i kinda get a bit disheartened when people think i don't care, when people take me for granted. I always remember people, even though i never acknowledge it (i don't want to seem like a moron), but it seems people never remember me. Meh, i guess that's life. Just got to learn to live with it.

People underestimate the power of a conversation. It might seem like a very light thing, but to me, it's like exploring some lost, uninhabited island. You get the insight into someones life, a personal tour if you will. And they do the same thing with you. And we'll both find out that we're not so different, that we're just humans, looking for the same thing in life. Love, friendship, a good time, good food and hopefully, a good conversation.