Letters from the Heart

Hello there. I know it has been a while since i wrote anything. I've been a little busy being obsessive. *insert crazy maniacal laugh here*

Over what, that should be obvious, i talked about it in my last post. Watching videos like a fucking moron while i have a fucking test tomorrow. But meh, i hate myself too much to care about such menial and trivial matters. *insert British accent and posh laughter here*

Okay, we are getting away from the topic. The reason why i am writing this to pass on a bit of my will. Yes, the kind of will you hear when people die and give away stuff, mind you. Though i am not dying, at least not yet, i am making a few preparations for my departure.

I am planning to write letters to important people in my life and i will place it all in the draft section of my blog. I haven't wrote many, just one for now, but i am planning to write more in time.

All i am asking is for you, any of you dear readers who had a chance to know me in real life, is to unlock my blog with my passing and pass what letters that i write to the people I that have made a big difference in my life. All are labeled Letters:......., intended for said person. That is all i ask.

And i know it seems highly morbid. You would think..."What do you mean? You gonna kill yourself by jumping of a building? If so, do a backflip please? " No, i have no plans for suicide for like...ever, so don't worry about it.

I just thought i'd leave something behind for all those people i love that had changed me for the best, and maybe worst.

When I thought about death and dying, all i could think of is to ask God for a favour. I know He takes very good care of everyone and i am not doubting His capabilities. I would want to ask Him for the permission to look after all the people I care about. Like a guardian angel. I know it's silly to think about that and i don't think He'll grant me special treatment, but hey, you never know.

I want to look after all the people i kept in my heart and make sure they remain safe. I always believed that God sent me here on this earth to love people and take care of them. And I've been hurt many times, and still being hurt by people. But i never blamed them. I always see that it was me who was lacking. It was me who didn't love or cared or give more.

And i guess i am not making any sense anymore. It's been a rough day. I hope someone will read this and help fulfil a stupid guy's wish. Though, you would have a hard time on one of them.  Oh well, you'll figure something out. I thank you in advance.

And if i don't write a letter to you, it's not that you haven't made a difference in my life, it is just that i was most likely too lazy or just died before i had a chance. So, yeah, sorry about that. But know that I'll watch closely if i get the chance. Because even though i can't write everyone a letter, i most certainly can love, and care and pray for all the good in the world to be with you.

And I'll always be with you, in your heart that never stopped loving me, and in the life you live that i have done my best to make a difference.

P.S: On the off chance i end up in purgatory or something (cause i am a messed up shit of a person), could you pray and ask God to let me go or at least take it easy on me? That'll be great, thanks.