Out and About

Hi. Hmmmm. I don't really know where to start. I guess the beginning seems good. I always knew something was different about me. I couldn't pin out why.

Like all guys who explore a little who they are when they're young, I didn't think that i was different, not by a lot at least. But when you grow up and reach a stage, you look back, laugh and just go "aaahhh".

I didn't seem to explore much of what was out there. I just keep to my own world and did my own things. Growing up, that focus always had to go outwards. And I saw people and loved people. I think that is where it started to show.

When you love people and they don't love you back, it does something to you. Your psyche. It just breaks. And it's stupid to think it'll be normal after you piece all the pieces together. I didn't get that it was just a part of life.

I lost myself to darkness. But when I got up and shook it off, i knew i wouldn't come out as someone who was normal.

I tried to shrug it off, like it was a phase or something. Maybe it is. I don't know. I don't really know what to think about it. I gave in or I fought it. Always in limbo as if some sort of dance and I'm being twirled around, not knowing which way is up.

Seeing people live free and be who they desire seem like a breath of fresh air at the edge of a cliff. I know if I take a deep one, I'll fall and never go back.

I'm really trying not to sound melancholic about it but it just comes out that way. And I don't know what I'll do and what's gonna be in my future. All i know is that I'm just like every other person on this planet. Trying to make sense of their part in the world.

In the end, we're all the same really. We're broken up by the same things. We look at the world with the same hope. We lie in bed and dream of the same dreams. We just want the same thing. Love. Well, maybe not exactly, but you get the point.