Emotional Outburst.

Writer's block.More like blogger's block.


Have you ever felt more than one emotion at once?Or two?Or three?Make that four,right?

No more.No more remorse.No more regret.No more guilt.Burn in hell and stay there for all eternity.

I'm going to tell.
Start talking.

Last year.
I couldn't sleep.Went to Mom's room.Planned for the party we were going to have.Went back to my room.Still could sleep.Tomorrow's the big day.Three year of preparation.
Anxiety.Nervous.Pure terror.

"Some wounds heal,some take time,but some,don't heal,they are forgotten,ignored,the only way to deal with the pain.Just like that day."

Dawn struck.Went there.Met friends.Talked about the party.Gave numbers.Wait.Took pictures.
Time came.
"Alaaa,awak jangan risau punya.Mesti dapat punya"
A few seconds later...
*speechlessness from both party,shock towards the other.(I'd sense a sort of a pleased sensation in the other party,but who fucking cares)*
"Takpe,boleh check balik"

Trust me,if the situation above happen in another setting,i would have laugh my fucking head off.But....

Have you ever felt the sense of nothingness? The feeling of your entire body being nothing but air and people can pass right through you? One feeling you don't ever want to get unless your in love.

In shock,although not sadness,not yet.Friend trying to tell other friends to keep it down,not to be too happy,in the presence of someone truly and utterly sad.
(They can't help it,they got what they wanted all along,and i don't even blame them)

Only one thought occurred to me.
Run.Go back.Return.
And so i did.I run.Went back.Holding back my tears until i reached home.
For a day i let sadness take control.It deserve it's day.

Its not that i wasn't grateful,it was i didn't get what i wanted.
Like a kid who wishes for an Iphone but only got a stupid 300 dollar phone.

Life are like knives.They cut you sometimes.But its not the knives we should learn from,its the cuts and how we deal with them and the pain that comes with it.